Rating: 4/10

Purchase: Amazon

The fall of our great nation can be measured not in our policies, not in climate disasters, not in violence. No, the fall is reflected in the decadence of our aisles.

The Super Stuffed Strawberry Blast Pop-Tart is a harbinger of doom. We have less than ten years as a nation. I see it in the soft, oozing texture of this shelf stable pastry. There is, in short, too much filling.

When I first saw the Super Stuffed Pop-Tarts, I thought interesting, maybe even amazing. I am part of the problem. I bought a box at my local grocery store and opened them when I got home from my ten minute drive.

There was a clear wet spot in the middle pasty's front and back. It resembled the jelly leak a PB&J experiences when it's been left in a lunch box a little too long. Or when the PB&J is overfilled with jelly.

It was disgusting to look at. I ate it cold, out of the wrapper. There is one per wrapper rather than the usual two. Thank god. Two would have been too much even for a binge-eater like myself.

A box of Super Stuffed Strawberry Blast Pop-Tarts. A pop-tart with exposed filling is on the box. A yellow circle stating "50% More Filling". Pop-Tarts logo at the top of the box. Super Stuffed with a small strawberry at the bottom.

I never realized how saccharine the Pop-Tart filling was. I think the blandness of the pastry does wonders to bring the filling to a normal level but when it's super stuffed, there's little the pasty can do. In fact, the pastry seemed to be thinner than the usual.

The next day I tried heating one in the toaster oven. The edges were crisp and hot as you would expect from a Pop-Tart. However, the center was soft and warm verging on hot. It immediately began to fold on itself when I picked it up. There was no stability. It tasted the same as yesterday. Just warmer.

The third day, I ate it frozen. I started eating Pop-Tarts frozen after a campaign of commercials a few years ago combined with a box of birthday cake flavored ones left in the pantry (one of the lesser flavors). It made the b-day cake Pop-Tart much better.

It did the same to the Super Stuffed Strawberry Blast Pop-Tart. The firmness took away the issue of the gooey filling and the unstable pastry. The sweetness was milder. However, I still would not get these again. There something about the filling.

Over stuff an Oreo. Brilliant. Unbelievable! But a Pop-Tart? That is godless, I don't care what you believe in. There is no god where Super Stuffed Pop-Tart treads.